Sunday, October 10, 2010

Go to this site and enter in the desired parameters (adjectives/adverbs/objects) and it will create a short story for you using your chosen words. I tried to make mine sexual, and it kinda worked. Have a read -

Hard Lang Syne

Logan sipped zealously at his drink and stood hard behind a time dilation machine. He wasn't sure why he had come to this New Year's Eve party in the first place. He was no good at parties anyhow. They always made him feel moaning and he ended up like he was now, hiding and hoping nobody noticed how dirty his kneecap got when he was nervous.

Well, truth be told, Logan knew very well why he was at the party: to see Jim.

Ah, Jim. Just the thought of him, the chance of a glimpse of his slimy penis made Logan's heart beat like a spider that ate it's prey with multiple legs.

But tonight everyone was masked. Logan peered compassionately through the crowd, trying to guess which guest was Jim. There, he thought, the man over by the cock, the sticky one with the mosquito mask. It had to be Jim. No one else could look so juicy, even in a mosquito mask.

He began to walk Logan's way and Logan started to panic. What if he actually talked to Logan?

Jim came right up to Logan and Logan thought that he was going to faint.

"Hello," Jim said bittersweetly. "What are you doing over here all alone?"

"Oh, just looking at the iPad," Logan said and immediately wanted to die because that sounded so salty.

Just then, an exuberent voice began to count down. "Ten ... nine ... eight ... seven ..."

Logan's heart leapt. If they were together at midnight, that meant that Jim might ...

"Happy New Year!"

Jim swept Logan into his arms, bent him 'under da sea', and kissed Logan sheepishly, slipping him the tongue and groping his right forefinger.

Logan could hardly believe it. How wonderful! And now that it was after midnight, it was time to take their masks off. He reached out tactfully and pulled Jim's mask off his face. It was Jim! "I knew it was you," Logan said and took his own mask off.

"And it's ... you," Jim said. "You know, I'm just going to go get some punch."

Logan watched him go. He would be right back, Logan was sure. Just as soon as he had his punch.

And then they would fall in love.


  1. I'm Dreaming Of An Ancient Christmas

    It was Christmas Eve. Oliver sat agonizedly on a penis, sipping watery eggnog.

    He looked at the jumpy murder hanging on the Christmas Tree and sighed. Last year, Tim had hung it there, just before they looked at each other incorrectly and then fell into each other's arms and elected each other's femur.

    If only I hadn't been so illegal, Oliver thought, pouring a green amount of rum into his eggnog. Then Tim might not have got so quirky and left me all alone at Christmas time. He wiped away a pretty tear and held his nose in his hand.

    Suddenly, there was a knock at the door and then a painful voice lifted superficially up in song.

    I'm dreaming of an ancient Christmas

    Just Information travels faster in this modern age as our days start crawling away.

    Oliver ran to the door. It was Tim, looking galloping all over with snow.

    "I missed you viciously," Tim said. "And I wanted to elect your femur again."

    Oliver hugged Tim and started to sob.

    "I think you're drunk," Tim said.

    "I think so too," Oliver said and they elected each other's femur until they knocked the Christmas tree over.

    On Christmas Day, they ate roasted bloated toad retena and lived triangularly until Oliver got drunk again.

  2. "a time dilation machine"? now that would be nice to have.

  3. I used to have so much fun with this :P

  4. omg yours turned out so funny. i send this my gf :D

  5. very cool post man thnx

  6. You are a good whiter:)
    keep going :)

  7. Good read dude.
    Check my blog, I only started yesterday.